I see a lot of social media posts by women condemning the way of certain men. However, I do not see nearly as many where the women are striving to be what they should be. At the risk of being politically incorrect, I want to point out what I see in women (me included) that we need to be aware of in ourselves.

When we have a good man, are we appreciative? Do we let them know how blessed we feel to have them, or do we harp on every little thing they do not do exactly the way we would have done them?

“Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman” (Proverbs 21:9).

“Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19).

“A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike” (Proverbs 27:15).

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).

Women, we are being judged by how we treat our household!

“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).

Do you respect your husband? Is it showing respect when you speak to him harshly or talk down to him? Is that being his ezer? “Ezer” is the word translated as “helpmeet” in Genesis and it means someone who is qualified to be his helper when the need arises. You should be his greatest cheerleader!

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:1-4).

Women, we are required to cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit, toward our husbands especially! God finds that humble and gentle manner of a woman irresistible. We need to stop focusing on what we see in the men of the world and focus on our husbands who are striving to be obedient Christians. Do we talk to our husbands in private in a way we would be embarrassed for others to hear? We are not called to walk the same path as the men, and we need to stop using their mistakes as an excuse to not walk the path we are given.

“The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5).

If young wives see our conduct towards our husbands, will they even be willing to listen to us? Before we can talk to the younger women about how to be obedient to their own husbands, we must first be doing that in our own homes.