In American West folklore the Colt .45 revolver was known as the "Peacemaker."  Gunning down anyone who disagrees with you is a violently aggressive concept of peace making, especially if you're the one getting shot.  Many people go through life as verbal gunfighters ready to slay their opponent with words at the slightest provocation.

One of the most important principles of conflict resolution is to be assertive without being aggressive.  This means that you have to be able to voice your opinions and feelings without attacking the other person.

Let's say you feel like your spouse doesn't listen to your ideas.  Next time you're upset instead of saying something like "You know what your problem is..."  Try starting your comment with, "Sometimes I feel like we do not understand each other..."

By using this method you can make your point without attacking the other person and increasing the level of conflict.  Wise King Solomon wrote, "He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction" (Proverbs 13:3).