Prayer may come easy for us most of the time—the words flow naturally, we enjoy our prayer time and everything seems to be going well in our spiritual life. Then there are times when we go through a severe trial—maybe a very lonely time, where we feel isolated and out-of-touch and it seems like there is no end in sight.

People often speak about having a good prayer life during the good and difficult times, but what about “prayer for the routine times?” What about times when we don’t feel that spiritually minded, but aren’t feeling guilty, either? Or when things seem to be going along fairly well in our spiritual life, but our prayers seem so routine and monotonous that it becomes difficult for us to pray?

During those times, we may struggle for words. We either feel like we’re talking to a wall or like we’ve said the same thing too many times before—and if the words become boring and meaningless to us, surely they will be to God as well. What can we do when that happens and how can we improve our prayer life and relationship with God? What can we do when we find prayer monotonous and realize that we're just going through the motions? What can we do to help us pray when our prayer life goes stale?

Here are some things to consider when your prayer life hits the doldrums.

Prayer takes effort

Colossians 4:12 reads, “Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, salutes you, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God” (American King James Version).

Notice the phrase, “laboring fervently for you in prayers.” That’s interesting, because it implies that sometimes it takes work and it takes some planned effort to pray. Effective prayer can be one of the most difficult things that we do in our Christian lives. We may feel that prayer comes easy for others and that this is only an issue for us, but we must understand that we are not alone in this.

When I was a boy, my brother and I did a lot of construction work with my grandfather. I remember there were times when we didn’t want to be there; we didn’t want to put forth any effort and work. Our grandfather would say, “Boys, it ain’t gonna do itself.” In other words, get busy!

I’ve had mornings when I don’t want to get up, I don’t want to get dressed, I don’t want to shave, I don’t want to pray, I don’t want to study, I don’t want to go to work—“Just leave me alone!" mornings. When I feel like that, I have to remember what my grandfather said and just get busy!

Sometimes we have to face prayer that way. We just have to fight through the distractions and do it. Not only do we have to discipline ourselves to set aside time to pray, it also takes some preparation and planning to know what we are going to cover during our prayer time. During such times it is helpful to ask God for assistance in praying effectively (Romans 8:26).

We may find setting aside time and being diligent to pray a challenge. We must make it a part of our routine, but not ritualize it by repeating our words at the same time in the same way every day—letting it become so repetitious that it becomes meaningless. If we are not careful, our motive can be that of just putting in the time. But prayer is not just a religious duty. It’s much bigger than that!

How should I pray?

There have been times when I’ve wondered how long God wants us to pray each day. When we look at prayer in terms of time limits, we probably don't grasp its value. But for the sake of discussion, let's ask the question.

The Bible doesn’t specifically say how long to pray, but there are several scriptures to consider—Paul wrote, “pray without ceasing” (I Thessalonians 5:17) and Jesus taught “that men always ought to pray and not lose heart ” (Luke 18:1). But we have to balance that with what Jesus said about avoiding “vain repetition” and also about thinking we are going to be heard for our “many words” (Matthew 6:7). It is appropriate to pray often and regularly, but we must avoid vain repetition.

To set aside time for prayer, we need self-discipline, but we also need to think about the preparation and consideration of the content of our prayers. A prayer list is a good idea. Sometimes you want to focus on the need for God’s kingdom, the work of the Church, individual people or perhaps your own needs. The point is, prayer takes effort and some planning.

Use God’s Word and Holy Spirit to help you pray

The Bible often talks about “praying in faith,” “the prayer of faith” or “according to your faith.” Faith is an important component of effective prayer, but how do we get it? Paul writes, “So then faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). We grow in faith by studying the word of God. If we are not studying our Bible enough, our prayer life may be off track.

Some people might say that to solve problems and find answers we need to look within ourselves for answers and enlightenment. That is a pagan New Age view that is non-biblical and worthless. Rather than looking within, we need to look up to God since He has all the answers and solutions.

We must also not rely on our own strength and wisdom. We'll be effective with our prayers to the extent that we rely on God to help us pray.

Reminding ourselves of what the Bible tells us to pray about can help us keep our prayer life busy. Praying in faith is not a feeling that we emotionally work up on our own. Faith is a gift from God. The outline Jesus gave us in Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4 is a great guideline to prayer. Other areas of the Bible teach us that we can cast our anxiety upon God. That we should pray for laborers in the harvest and also for our enemies. We are told to pray for our church leaders, civil leaders and for each other. The Psalms offer wonderful prayer ideas as well.

Pray honestly

It's important to talk to God about the way we feel and think, but not so flippantly that it is disrespectful or disregarding His will. But to pray honestly means to pray from the heart, which involves true feelings, not what we imagine God wants to hear.

As an example, someone may throw a lot of words and expressions in so they sound religious, thinking they may please God. But God would rather we pray from the heart with sincerity, because He wants us to speak what’s really on our mind.

Have you ever noticed how some of your most effective prayers were when you really opened up and respectfully told God what you thought? It’s been said that a one-sentence prayer from a burdened heart is more effective than a one-hour prayer that’s done only to sound religious. We can go to God when we hurt, we’re scared, or when we don’t understand something. He will listen with compassion and understanding.

Read through some of the prayers of men like Moses, Elijah, or Jeremiah. Those were honest men! And when they prayed, they told God what they really thought. God truly does desire an intimate relationship with us and His affection is beyond our ability to imagine. None of us can fully comprehend the affection, the interest and the fascination that God has for us individually and personally. You are his child, and His love for you goes far beyond any love that a human parent can even imagine.

With that in mind, can physical prayer “tools,” or using old English or repeating meaningless memorized prayers really be very interesting to God? He wants our minds, hearts and affections, not cold, empty words or some physical ritual that man in his immature understanding thinks would please God.

To pray effectively, you just need to talk to your Father from the heart. God is just that—our Father. He is not impressed with religious words and rituals in themselves. Yes, prayer takes some effort, and yes, we need God’s Word and Spirit to help us pray. We need to pray honestly from the heart and if we rise to the highest degree, we can rise above the spiritual doldrums that we all struggle with at times.

Let’s not neglect the tool of prayer to stay connected to the love and affection of our spiritual Father.

Further reading:

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