A while back I read of two men who were sent to the hospital for using a lawn mower as a hedge trimmer. No, I wrote that correctly. Two men picked up a power mower and tried to use it to trim a hedge. As one might suspect, they suffered serious damage to exposed digits and appendages.

What is striking about these two individuals is that rather than feel accountable for their own actions, they sued the manufacturer of the lawn mower for not posting proper warnings. Interesting. Their injuries were the result of improper warning labels. Rather than take responsibility for their behavior, however inane, they chose to blame someone else.

In our society too often the responsibility for "who I am" and "how I act" is shifted to someone else. If I mess up, someone else is to blame--I'm not at fault. It's so convenient to feel good about the self when others can be blamed for wrong choices and decisions and mistakes.

But what really occurs is that excuses hamper our personal growth and, without growth, we can't fulfill our potential.

Paying the price--an admission

I'll make an admission here. For years I blamed certain personality flaws and character traits on my family--they were to blame for actions and attitudes that I wished I didn't display. That was, until a friend asked me if I was still living at home.

My family was 3,000 miles away and I'd been on my own for years, but I still carried that crutch of "my family made me this way." It was a convenient catchall for my poor behavior. It was handy to blame them for my poor conduct. They were an easy target--until that question from my friend.

I had to admit that, no, I was not living at home. I made the day-to-day decisions of how I would act and what I would say. The family influence really wasn't there any longer and hadn't been there for several years.

So, I was asked, if the negative influence of my family wasn't in my life, how could I continue to blame them if I knew better? My friend implied that I must want to be this way. It really must be my choice. I was choosing to say and do those things which I didn't want to do, not because of family, but because I chose to do so.

What an eye-opener!

I realized I was completely responsible for myself at all times, as we all are responsible for who we are and how we act, even under stress and duress.

Some want to blame poor personal performance on the actions and attitudes of others. Does the poor performance of someone else warrant a similar action and reaction on my part? Does someone calling me names make his or her opinion of me valid? And should I react in kind? Of course not!

The point in all this is that it is so easy to blame someone else and not take responsibility. But when you don't take responsibility for your actions, you have no reason for, nor do you see any possibility of, making a change in your life. If you're not responsible for yourself, how is there any hope of change? It's those others. They need to change their attitudes and actions. But they don't change, so why should you?

Taking control

When we claim responsibility for our actions, we actually take control over our lives. We can now make positive changes about who we are and who we will be. I discovered that it is only when we're taking responsibility for our actions, ceasing to blame others, that we have the means, focus and wherewithal to make personal changes. I learned that it's OK to make mistakes. I learn from them. I don't try to hide them or hide from them anymore. I don't try to justify them. I made them. I accept them. I can go forward not wanting to make the same mistakes again. This is especially important in the spiritual area of life. When our mistakes break God's laws, we can seek God's forgiveness and His help to overcome them (Acts 3:19). In God's book, repenting and changing are the name of the game.

Just like the statement that those who forget the lessons of history are bound to repeat them, those who blame others for their mistakes will never change from making them over and over and over again.

Taking responsibility secures power over the self and provides positive energy toward achieving our God-intended potential. I've never seen a successful Christian blaming others for his or her setbacks and mistakes. The real successes claim responsibility for their actions and then let God take control of their lives and their futures.