As humans, most of us crave friendship. Regardless of if we make it obvious or not, we need that companionship. It’s core to how we function on a daily basis. We are social creatures, and that’s a fact. Even more so, we were created to desire a connection with someone of the opposite sex. A major time in an adult’s life is the day they cleave unto their lifelong mate, and that kind of relationship can only begin if both people know how to grow and foster a relationship at the most basic of levels. As in all pursuits, you have to start somewhere and grow your way to your goal.

Treat them as a sibling

As you begin on your journey of friendship, there are a few basic guidelines to keep in mind. First of all, be patient. This will be a long trek through many hills and valleys, and it won’t always be easy, but it will certainly be worth it. Have faith in that fact and stay level-headed about what you do and say with the people you want to get to know on a deeper level. Patience and faith are accompanied by the obvious: Be kind, loving, and considerate. Be temperate and be keen in how you handle situations. Have wisdom and take everything to God. These are basic ideals to employ with any relationship, but you’ll find they are especially effective when dealing with the opposite gender. It may seem like far too many rules, but there is one way to consolidate them into one idea: Treat them as a sibling. I was raised with this very concept in mind, and it has guided me very well when I have chosen to use it. Every time I lose focus of it, though, things seem to go awry.

First impressions

One key point to remember is that before you can be anything more than friends, you have to be friends. Before that, you need to be acquaintances, and even before that, you need to meet. Your paths need to cross, and unless you go out of your way to accomplish this, it may never happen. You two need to be friends before anything else, and that will continue to be true long after you are more than friends. Have respect in all areas of discussion and be wary of how you present yourself. First impressions are vital to a relationship, and they will be remembered forever, so stay wise and calm.

Stay vigilant

Focusing too much on one individual can blind you to the opportunities that God may be trying to present to you. The first person you connect with will most likely not be “the one you marry,” so don’t be too fixated on the idea of “love at first sight.” That includes thinking before you act or speak! You should employ that tactic in life as a whole, but in dealing with others, you’ll find it very effective in keeping you out of uncomfortable or unfortunate situations. In conversation, avoid being too eager or passive—that can complicate the situation extremely fast. Keep the conversation focused on positive, godly aspects, and God will help guide you in what to say, when to say it and how to present yourself as a young person.

Relationships are no small matter. They shape this life, and they change how we see everything. As soon as we start accounting for others, life begins to morph into something more than just ourselves, and that is exactly how God intended it to be. Jesus is, at all times, our one true and perfect example, and we can always look to Him for advice on how to treat others. Have wisdom; be patient. Have faith and kindness and, above all, treat them as you would a sibling: with understanding, with keen advice and with love.