Unfortunately, having enemies is an inevitable part of life. There might be people who hold political or religious views that are in strong opposition to yours, who aren’t content to “agree to disagree,” but rather start heated arguments with you anytime you’re around them. Maybe you work with someone who is always trying to one-up you, apparently wanting your job, or seems threatened by your skillset. You could have a neighbor or former friend who feels like you’ve wronged him in some way and now he’s taking vengeance by spreading ugly rumors about you or even slapping a lawsuit on you. Or, perhaps there are those who snub, exclude, demean, deride or bully you, for no other reason than they “don’t like” you.

When you’re on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, it can stir up strong emotions like anger, hurt, bitterness and spitefulness. You might tell yourself, “I’m going to give that person a piece of my mind,” or “I’m going to put him in his place.”

But then, certain Bible passages might come to mind (and hopefully they do!). In particular, we might think of Jesus Christ’s instruction during the Sermon on the Mount to “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45).

Numerous other verses convey this same teaching. Romans 12:14 tells us to “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” In the book of Proverbs we’re told, “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls” (24:17), and, “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink” (25:21). Exodus 23:4-5 (New Living Translation) is written for an agricultural society, but can be applied to our modern world: “If you come upon your enemy’s ox or donkey that has strayed away, take it back to its owner. If you see that the donkey of someone who hates you has collapsed under its load, do not walk by. Instead, stop and help.” In today’s terms, if a rival at work or school is facing a setback of some kind, we should be willing to assist him, relieving his burdens if we can.

Admittedly, having to show this kind love to our enemies can be a really hard pill to swallow. The natural human inclination is to hate our enemies, fight with them and take retribution. For those who are less confrontational, we might want to just turn our backs on those who hurt or trouble us and simply “not care” about them. But even if all we have is a cursory understanding of the Bible, we know these responses are not acceptable. “Loving our adversaries” is a foundational principle of God’s way of life. It is not something we can “opt out of” if we are going to truly be disciples of Jesus Christ.

The command to love our enemies can make more sense when we understand exactly what God wants from us. Think about what Matthew 5:44 actually entails. To love our enemies means we are to cultivate a genuine concern for them. To bless our enemies might mean looking for their redeeming qualities, speaking as well of them as we can (and not bad-mouthing them), and letting go of anger and resentment towards them. Doing good to them can be a matter of showing them respect and kindness, being patient and longsuffering with them (which includes trying to understand why they think the way they do), and helping them if they’re in need. We should pray for them—that God will help them see their sins (if indeed they are sinning) and be merciful with them. Loving our enemies does not mean we have to somehow cultivate warm sentiments for them, approve of their wrong conduct, pretend they haven’t hurt us, or try to have a “normal” relationship with them (when they haven’t repented).

Still, you might say, You don’t know how badly my ex-spouse has treated me. You don’t know how conceited and power-hungry that new employee is at work. You haven’t seen how much I’ve been smeared on social media. I can’t even begin to think about showing concern to someone who’s caused me so much grief.

But we can and must. In order to succeed at this, we need God’s help. Pray that God will give you the spiritual strength to forgive. Ask Him to help you see the situation from His perspective, to replace the limited human judgments you may have already made about those who have hurt or troubled you. When we try to see our foes from God’s vantage point, we’re able to change our own viewpoints, and less likely to allow our negative emotions to control us.

Why would God instruct us to love our enemies? Everything He asks of us is for our good (Romans 8:28) with our future in His Kingdom in mind. What can we learn by actively practicing the admonition to "love your enemies"? Here are seven positive outcomes we can expect:

1. We’ll have a more peaceful existence

The Bible instructs us to not repay evil for evil, retaliate when people mistreat us, nor avenge ourselves. Scripture clearly states that taking vengeance is God’s responsibility, and that He will fight our battles for us (Romans 12:17, 19; 1 Peter 3:9; Deuteronomy 1:30; 3:22; 20:4; 32:35; Exodus 14:14; Isaiah 49:25). Only God can mete out justice fairly and effectively.

Hating our enemies and trying to “settle the score” only produces discord, hostility and conflict. If someone insults us and we hurl back an insult, he’ll come back with another put-down, and then we retaliate by saying something even more cruel, and a never-ending, escalating cycle occurs. The malice just intensifies—with both parties.

God’s Word encourages us to do just the opposite—to be peacemakers and to overcome evil with good (Matthew 5:9; Romans 12:21). When we are civil with our enemies, it de-escalates potentially tense situations. Our social or work environment improves. So if we’re at odds with a coworker, and we respond to his hostility with kindness and concern, we create a more peaceful workplace. Tension is mitigated, and we break the cycle of revenge.

2. It can help transform our enemies

In time, our enemies may take note that we are treating them civilly, become ashamed of their bad conduct and change their ways. This is even more likely when we are praying that God will intervene in the situation and help them see their wrongs. With God’s help, we can be a good influence and a tool He can use to correct our enemies and motivate them to change (1 Peter 2:12). Adversaries don’t always stay adversaries; they can learn to do what is right. We can “win them over.” And when that happens—if we’ve been patient, understanding and merciful with them along the way—it can be a very joyous experience.

3. It improves our own attitude

If we harbor anger, hate and resentment towards our enemies, these negative emotions will grow and fester, and can literally control our lives (Hebrews 12:15). We will feel miserable, and become bitter, cynical, unlikable and unhappy people. Harboring negative emotions can impact our physical health too, leading to high blood pressure, headaches, cardiovascular and intestinal problems, and other maladies.

However, when we’re patient and gracious with our enemies, and we strive to understand their backgrounds and perspectives, we take our focus off ourselves and direct our concern on them. We begin to focus on the joy we get from seeing other people happy and trying to meet their needs instead of just our own. This helps us develop graciousness, compassion, empathy and respect—not only towards our enemies but with other people in general. We also free ourselves from dwelling on revenge, allowing us to think about and do what is more constructive.

4. God will be more merciful and forgiving with us

Our enemies aren’t the only ones who sin or behave badly at times. We do too. And when we do, in addition to repenting and asking God for forgiveness, we need to take an honest assessment of ourselves to determine if we are holding grudges against anyone who has mistreated us. Matthew 6:14-15 says, “If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (New International Version). Matthew 5:7 says, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” An important aspect of loving our enemies is to let go of any ill will we may have towards them—to be forgiving. A benefit to us personally is God will be much more merciful with us when we sin, if we extend this same courtesy to others.

5. We bestow honor to God

Everything we do in our lives should honor and glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31). That includes how we treat those who mistreat us. God wants us to have goodwill for our enemies, to seek peace with them, to not exact vengeance on our own, and to let Him “fight our battles” for us. We honor God when we obey these directives, even when they might not “make sense” from our limited human perspectives. We are showing God that we value His teachings.

Moreover, loving our enemies can be a powerful testimony of our faith. When we are gracious towards our enemies, others will notice the decreasing tension and the improved situation that is likely to be the result. We will be demonstrating that God’s way works, and showing others the good that can come out of living by biblical precepts.

6. We can better see how we need to change

When others bully or harass, it’s easy to dwell on what they have done to us. But if we’re truly loving our enemies as we should, we will be directing some of our attention on trying to understand why they think and act the way they do. By doing so, we can start to see how we might be causing some of the strife—that the tension isn’t all their fault. Our enemies might have some valid grievances against us (Romans 2:1). We should be willing to consider their criticisms of us, even if they’re not delivered in a pleasant way.

Now, there certainly are times when one person is the obvious aggressor and the other party is the innocent victim. For instance, we might have enemies who don’t like us because we hold religious beliefs that they don’t, or maybe the bad feelings are all due to envy on their part. But even then, we might not always react in the best way when we’re mistreated and could improve in that area.

7. It helps us learn to “see”humanity as God does

At first, we may need to “force ourselves” to have concern for our enemies. But the more we show them love and really try to understand them, the more vested we’ll become in doing this, and the more we’ll start to genuinely hope for the best for them. Seek to understand the other person and why he may be reacting the way he does. Sometimes, we may find that he has a miserable background that brings on his behavior towards you. Knowing that can give you the patience and compassion to work with him.

We need to remember that even our worst enemies are made in God’s image and likeness (Genesis 1:26-27), and have the potential to someday be part of God’s family. God desires that every human being would repent and be saved, according to His will and timing (2 Peter 3:9; 1 Timothy 2:4). This certainly doesn’t mean that all people will accept God’s calling, but God has that hope for every human being. Since God is concerned about all of humanity, and if we are followers of His way of life, we too should cultivate this same love and hope for other people—even those who have used or persecuted us. God sees their potential, and we must too.

Realistically, some of our enemies might continue with their hateful ways, no matter what we do. Romans 12:18 says “IF it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (emphasis added). We can’t force others to treat us civilly. We can only change ourselves. And even then, it may be very, very hard to love those who have it in for us. But God sees when we are pushing ourselves to do what’s difficult, and He will help us along the way. God wants us to be peacemakers. Doing so makes life more pleasant, and it’s an essential quality if we’re going to be part of God’s Kingdom. Every encounter we have with an adversary is an opportunity to build those important peacemaking skills. That should serve as a huge incentive to do what we need to do—even if it’s not easy or natural.