If you have ever lost a loved one, you may be left with a question, long after the loss itself—what do I even do now?

Many Church members may have heard the prayer request that was sent out earlier this year from my beloved sister. Hannah Toler (formerly Shoemaker) was diagnosed with stage four liver cancer earlier this year. So began her fight to live, battle the sickness and turn to God for His answers. She fought with all her might, with family alongside to help, allowing God to decide where the journey would take her. However, His answer came on the night of April 24, 2024, when Hannah died, putting an end to her battle.

To say our family is devasted in the wake of her loss would be putting it very mildly, for Hannah was one of our family’s most prominent members. Life without her has never been nor ever will be the same. It’s been about three months since the “Hannah Sparkle” as we called it, the core and essence of who Hannah was, went out. No one’s light has ever shimmered or glistened so brightly to us, and life without her is a lot less sparkly.

We look forward to God’s coming Kingdom, one not of this world (John 18:36). Though we were already excited for the Kingdom, it is all the more eagerly anticipated by those who look forward to seeing Hannah again.

God is indeed preparing a place for His children, one we all look forward to. As we read in Hebrews 11:16, “But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.”

Life is short.

We are all aware of the simple fact that our time is short. God’s people are on a journey that will help God determine for each of us, “Can I make you a spirit? Can you dwell with me faithfully for an eternity?”

It is easy to get distracted by everyday life and the woes, goals and things you really want to do before you run out of time. Remembering this life is short is important. We have to be mindful of the bigger picture and of why we’re here.

As we go through trials and face life-altering decisions, we may tend to focus our attention on the answer itself. However, we should consider that it may really be more about the journey, and how God is molding each of us along the way. The milestones, or a yes/no answer may be a more compelling thing to focus on, but we must remain receptive to the lessons God is teaching us along the way.

I recently helped 83-year-old gentlemen who lost his wife over a month ago get his house back in order. It was heartbreaking to hear how his beloved wife of 63 years died, leaving only memories of the life they had built together. She had many nice old Victorian items in her home, reminding her husband of how she took pride in her keeping her treasures in good condition. She also left behind her beloved cat and Shih Tzu dog.

After meeting the woman’s husband and pets and spending several hours cleaning the home, I could see that this woman had left a legacy of love and joy, her own form of sparkle. While I was there, her husband asked me “What do I even do now?” They had been together every day for many years of their life. The question struck me as familiar because of my own recent loss. I had often cried out to God with a similar question.

Stay faithful, regardless of the outcome.

Perhaps one of the most memorable trials faced by God’s people is recorded in Daniel 3. This was the time King Nebuchadnezzar commanded everyone to worship a golden image of himself. When Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego failed to comply, the king offered them a final warning and chance to obey. However, they did not falter or concede in their determination to worship only the true God.

Daniel 3:17-18 records their reply, “If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.”

Essentially, they said “God most certainly can and will save us, but even if He doesn’t choose to at this time, we will not disobey Him.” We read later in verse 27 that God did save them, protecting them from the furnace so that their hair wasn’t singed and they didn’t even smell of smoke.

This story can inspire faith and courage, as we’re reminded what our Father is capable of. Like Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego recognized, God can and will save us, but even if the time isn’t now, it doesn’t change anything about who God is and how we should follow Him. They knew that even if they perished, God had a plan for their future.

God could have saved them earlier, simply smiting the men who accused Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego or even the king for making such an absurd law, but what character growth would have resulted from such a quick solution? Being thrown into a fiery furnace and risking their lives would have strengthened these men’s faith in God.

Remember why you are here.

Another example is found in the book of Esther when Haman set out to destroy the Jews and Mordecai informed Queen Esther of the decree, asking her to appeal their cause to the king. Esther feared for her life, as going before the king unsummoned meant death, unless he held out his golden scepter. You can read the details of this story in Esther 4:1-11.

It’s easy to fear when you do not know the outcome and can’t see what God’s plan is in this yet. Esther needed encouragement from Mordecai, who put the situation in perspective when he said, “Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:13-14).

My mother always told me remember who you are. Remember who you are and what you are called to do. Remember why you’re here. Lean on God, praying to and trusting Him. Remember who your Father is. He knows what He’s doing in this. In times of trial and loss, it can be hard to see what God is doing, but moments like these that help shape you according to God’s plan.

Esther and her people fasted and prayed to God for deliverance. It turns out that God’s answer was more than they originally asked, as we find in Esther 8:17, when we read “Many of the people of the land became Jews, because fear of the Jews fell upon them.” What a complete reversal! God’s plan turned imminent annihilation to an opportunity for others to learn His way! We can see in this example that it wasn’t just about the answer, but rather, the journey and how those involved grew as a result.

Finding direction after loss

In those times in your life where all seems and looks impossible, remember that nothing is impossible for God. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). God strengthens, heals and makes us all a new creation in Him (2 Corinthians 5:17).

God is building trust in moments of trials, in times that test your faith and reshape you to the core. In times of suffering, remember 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” You’re not here to have an easy-going existence—you are here to “walk worthy of the calling with which you were called” (Ephesians 4:1). God will help us with this journey.

I understand the question all too well, “what do I even do now?” I asked God the same thing after my sister died. I knew firmly and fiercely that He had the power to heal her, He had the power to change everything, but He chose not to at this time.

God decides the plan for our lives, and He does so with care and love for us beyond what we can humanly comprehend. He knows what is best and what we don’t see, because He has the greatest understanding and wisdom of all. At times it’s difficult to accept that, and the reason for His decisions is not clear. But He welcomes our call to Him for direction. Ask “What do I do now?” He will show you the way. In the midst of my heartbreak, I reached out to God, and He helped me find my next steps.

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1-2). What do you do now? The answer is simple: keep running; you still must finish your race.

I wasn’t quite sure how to answer the 83-year-old gentlemen who asked me, “What do I even do now?” Upon reflection, I thought perhaps the simple truth was the best answer: “Finish what you have to do in life; God has kept you here for a reason.”

Finishing the race

What do we do when we feel too broken to keep going?

We can finish our race by staying close to God. Draw near to Him, live His way obey Him always. Use the time you have left wisely. Remember who you are, your goal and your calling. Keep running until, “when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away” (1 Peter 5:4).

Christ’s return is inevitable. He says, “Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work” (Revelation 22:12). When I next see Hannah, she will not longer be suffering, but rejoicing in the reward of eternal life (Romans 6:23, 1 Corinthians 15:52, Revelation 21:4-5). There is no greater blessing to look forward to than that of eternal life in the family of God!

God is using this journey to prepare us for something greater. The greatest blessing we could ask for is to receive God’s gift of eternal life! We are racing for this crown, and no matter the perils we face along the way, it is worth it. So when you find yourself asking “What do I do now,” remember that purpose and keep running!