When a man and a woman in love marry, the couple has to blend together two family systems. These family systems may be somewhat or very different from each other. Neither was completely right or completely wrong. They are just different. Which traditions will be kept from which family? How many of each mate's family traditions, rules and rituals will be retained?

With families on the move so much today, it is difficult for children to be given roots for stability in their lives. Not only are relatives far away, but traditions, values and family rituals may also be lost.

It cannot be emphasized enough how important it is to give our children a connection with the past. What makes your family what it is? When we form a new family unit by marrying, we certainly have the prerogative of choosing which lessons and experiences of our family of origin we will bring into our newly formed family. We also may choose to make sure our children have frequent connections to our family of origin through visits and by retaining some or many of the rituals, experiences, values and rules that we lived by when we were growing up.

Deuteronomy 4:9 gives the sense of carrying on the teachings and traditions of our families. "Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren" (emphasis added).

So, for the family to feel a sense of stability, it is important for parents to make sure their children have a connection with the past. This may be done by spending time frequently with grandparents and relatives to grasp family tradition and stories. It can also be done by parents discussing what past family traditions they want to carry on with their young children.

By developing and retaining family rituals, traditions, values and rules, we will be "remembering our roots" not only for our generation, but for generations to come.