What can you do to help someone who has a drinking problem? The Barrier of Denial Unfortunately, a major roadblock stands in the way of help for most sufferers. It is called denial. The difficulty of admitting our problems is intrinsic to human nature (Proverbs 16:2; 21:2). The stigma connected with out-of-control drinking stands in the way for many. No one wants to admit to what he or she is ashamed of. The dynamics of chemical addiction drive denial far beyond the normal degree of human nature. The desperate craving for alcohol leads the deceitful mind (Jeremiah 17:9) to employ a wide range of "defense mechanisms"-such as rationalization, justification, minimization, and blame shifting in order to continue drinking. Laying guilt trips, provoking incidents of anger to justify drinking, lying, and many other forms of improper behavior result. An alcoholic eventually develops a world of illusion that becomes a dangerous mirage of reality. Somehow this nightmarish world of denial must be invaded and destroyed.

Don't be an Enabler

The difficulty is compounded by the fact that family members, especially the husband or wife of the alcoholic, often allow themselves to get hooked into the bizarre world of denial. Making excuses for missed work becomes commonplace, spawned by fear of loss of job, desire to avoid rejection of friends and family, and misguided concern for the drinking family member. The mate prolongs the alcoholic's drinking behavior by becoming an "enabler." The alcoholic must be allowed to face the consequences of his inappropriate behavior. This may involve suffering and sacrifice for other family members. But as long as someone shields drinking behavior, the problems will continue and intensify. Do not make calls to employers. Let the alcoholic call for himself. When he staggers home, vomits and passes out on the living room floor or front lawn, the natural tendency is to clean him up and put him to bed. And then let him have the full force of your anger and resentment in the morning, when his head is pounding with a hangover and he is already ashamed of his behavior the evening before-unless he was in a blackout, in which case he will remember nothing. Either way, allowing him to wake up face down in the residue of the night before can provide a powerful dose of reality. Especially if he wakes up in full sight of his neighbors as they begin their day. An alcoholic needs this kind of tough love to help him face the consequences of his drinking problem. The morning after may also be the time to calmly and lovingly encourage him to consider getting help.

Motivation for Seeking Treatment

But what if the alcoholic still refuses to acknowledge the need for help? For many years the belief persisted that an alcoholic has to "hit bottom" before seeking treatment. Sooner or later some crisis will force the alcoholic to face up to reality or suffer tragic consequences-loss of family, financial ruin, imprisonment, even death. Must family members sit by helplessly and wait for tragedy to strike? What if you or someone else in the family are at the end of the rope emotionally and feel you cannot take any more? What if you feel you cannot ride out this dizzying spiral to oblivion? Is a better alternative available?

Dynamics of Intervention

Thankfully, yes. It's called intervention. Intervention is a carefully planned, frank but loving confrontation session by as many family and other meaningful persons as are willing and able to participate. Former U.S. President Gerald Ford's wife, Betty, is a well known example of successful intervention. Each participant clearly states facts and feelings about how the drinking pattern has affected their life. This information is conveyed after sincerely affirming love and concern to the problem drinker. A combination of support and confrontation is important to let the person know that the others in the room love him or her but cannot and will not continue to tolerate the drinking problem. Alternatives and consequences should be spelled out. Everyone must be prepared to follow through on whatever actions they spell out. No bluffing, no threats. These only hurt credibility and prolong suffering of all concerned. Before undertaking this course of action, be sure to seek professional help. It is advisable to have a trained facilitator lead and monitor the discussion. The object of intervention is to secure the alcoholic's agreement to enter treatment at the conclusion of the session. Therefore, a plan of action should already be in place so treatment can begin immediately. Treatment should be considered with the same sense of urgency and gravity as a medical emergency such as appendicitis or a heart attack.

Where to Find Help

Where can you find help? What type of treatment is available? Of course this should be investigated long before the intervention is scheduled so you are ready to proceed quickly with your preconceived plan of action. The yellow pages of your phone book is a good place to begin. Look under "Alcoholism Information and Treatment" to find a list of treatment centers in your area. Some are privately operated. Some are non-profit, usually supported by government funds. If insurance coverage is available, private centers may be a better option. If not, treatment at a public facility is available on a "sliding scale" basis, which means the cost is adjusted according to the family income. Doctors and governmental agencies (including emergency 911 service in the U.S.) can also provide referral information.

Treatment Options

What happens in treatment? First an assessment interview is set up with the patient to determine the nature and duration of treatment. Detoxification is usually the next procedure, to help remove alcohol from the system and to treat side effects such as withdrawal symptoms. The patient then enters a period of inpatient or outpatient treatment. Treatment modalities have been standardized in recent years by government regulations and insurance company requirements. Most programs consist of group therapy, individual counseling, lectures, and nutritional support. Family involvement is also critically important, since alcoholism affects the entire family. Participation in treatment also reinforces their love for the alcoholic. Special family group sessions are planned to help families communicate facts and feelings openly and honestly with support from other patients and their families. People help people, and learn about themselves in the process.

The Twelve-Step Program

The twelve-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is central to the recovery philosophy of treatment. It was developed years ago by recovering alcoholics who analyzed what they did to attain sobriety. This program has a longstanding track record of success. So much so that adapted versions are used for many other forms of addictive behavior. The success rate can be attributed to the fact that all twelve steps are in harmony with biblical principles. A handout documenting the twelve steps with scripture is available from the Focused Education team. The book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, available from AA, expounds the value of the step program to recovering alcoholics.

Treatment centers do not promise to "cure" alcoholism. They offer treatment and a program to follow to maintain sobriety. Gaining and maintaining sobriety is the personal responsibility of each patient. An ongoing "maintenance program" is usually discussed with the patient prior to discharge from inpatient treatment. This involves periodic followup group therapy sessions and selection of an AA group to attend at least once a week.

What Is Alcoholics Anonymous? Alcoholics Anonymous is an international fellowship of recovering alcoholics who meet together to help each other maintain sobriety. The only requirement for joining or attending AA is a desire to stop drinking. There is no cost other than optional contributions for refreshments and cost of meeting facilities. AA is not a religion. It is simply a support group devoted to helping people stop drinking. Similar support groups exist for many other causes, such as losing weight. Belief that looking to "a Higher Power" is necessary for sobriety is a fundamental tenet of the twelve-step program. "God as you understood Him" is another term used in AA to accommodate people of all religious faiths. The more general "Higher Power" is designed for agnostics and atheists as a beginning point for seeking help beyond the individual sufferer. This should present no problems to God's people. On the contrary, we can appreciate the twelve step program even more because of our understanding of God's plan. Two other common objections to AA are the foul language that seems to be common fare for many recovering alcoholics, and the fact that many recovering alcoholics smoke profusely at meetings. Neither of these problems are insurmountable.

The key is finding the right AA group. The local AA office can steer you to a non-smoking AA group. An AA group that meets in a church is not as likely to have smoking or use of foul language, simply because of the location. Meetings are chaired by AA member volunteers on a rotating basis. They lead an informal discussion geared toward maintaining sobriety. Discussions sometimes center on a theme, such as one of the twelve steps and how it applies. Meetings end with reciting of "the Lord's Prayer." Some members feel uncomfortable with this, thinking of it as "vain repetition." But the Bible does not prohibit reciting this or any other part of Scripture. Vain repetition is repetition that serves no worthwhile purpose. Repetition for emphasis and other valid reasons is supported by Scripture. Even though the "Lord's Prayer" was given as a model, or outline for prayer, praying the exact words of Jesus Christ with heartfelt meaning can certainly be a profitable experience. Alcoholics Anonymous has many booklets, for little or no cost, to help explain the organization in much greater detail than is possible within the scope of this article.

Focused Education

The Focused Education team is committed to doing what we can to help families suffering from alcoholism. As time and funds allow, we plan to hold training sessions for elders and congregational seminars and workshops. We are also assembling a lending library of relevant books. We appreciate your continued prayers for this much needed program and for those among us who need hope, help and healing.

Dos and Don'ts

Don't

1. threaten, bribe or preach
2. lose your temper
3. allow your anxiety lead you to do what the alcoholic should do for himself/herself
4. cover up, make excuses for or hide the alcoholic from consequences of his/her behavior
5. hide or throw away bottles of alcohol
6. argue or reason with anyone who is drunk
7. drink along with a problem drinker
8. ride with anyone who insists on driving while intoxicated
9. accept guilt for another's behavior
10. allow your spiritual life to suffer as result of alcoholism

Do

1. learn all you can about alcoholism
2. become familiar with treatment resources in your community
3. be honest with the alcoholic
4. keep your cool when talking with an alcoholic
5. counsel with your pastor and/or doctor about alcohol problems in the family
6. attend Alanon, Alateen or other groups that offer support and helpful information
7. teach your children about alcoholism
8. do all you can to maintain a healthy atmosphere at home
9. be patient; alcoholism can pose many challenges
10. maintain your faith in God