Before the 1960s and its sexual revolution that tossed out traditional morality, it was generally believed that the ideal sexual relationship was a special romantic bond between a husband and a wife. Today, according to television commercials touting male enhancement drugs, it seems that everyone is concerned with sexual performance as if it were a competitive sport.

The sexual revolution was supposed to free us from shame and outdated ideas about human sexuality, and everyone was going to enjoy a kind of sexual Disneyland where we'd go from one thrill to another. But it's time to face the facts: Decades later, the sexual revolution thrill ride has derailed.

The sexual revolution's sad fruits

The sexual revolution didn't free women to experience more meaningful relationships; it freed men and women to separate sex from commitment. They could now go from partner to partner without personal responsibility or emotional attachment.

Any single mom knows how difficult it is to raise a child without a partner. But there's also the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. An estimated 45 million people in the United States are infected with genital herpes—a number that's growing by a million new cases a year.

It's estimated that this year 25 percent—one in four—of sexually active teens will contract a sexually transmitted disease. These numbers are too large for most of us to wrap our minds around—unless you're one of those suffering from an STD.

How much heartache have you endured because of broken relationships? Have you given up on that deep longing for a committed, lifetime, romantic relationship because meaningless sexual encounters have left you feeling hopeless or bitter?

If you want to get off the sexual merry-go-round, you must take control of your life and set new standards for yourself. It all begins by understanding God's purpose for your life and the beautiful mystery of human sexuality.

God created you because He wants children—sons and daughters. To be His child is your purpose in life. He created you as one of a kind—a person with a unique combination of talents and traits. By accepting your Creator's way and giving up self-destructive lifestyles, you will discover that human sexuality is more than simple recreation or a means for having babies.

Marriage is one of the first divine institutions God gave to humankind, and human sexuality was designed to be a wonderful relationship enjoyed in marriage. If you want to change your life and discover how to have a committed, lifelong, loving marriage, you must first get off the sexual merry-go-round and become committed to renewed virginity —completely avoiding any kind of sex outside of marriage.

Where to start in starting over

So now what? Are you to join a monastery and dedicate your life to a dreary state of abstinence? Think about this: Many of us spend 12 years going to school, and often an additional four to eight years learning a career. What if you dedicated just a fraction of your time preparing for marriage? Most people get married with more knowledge of how to take care of a pet than of how to have a successful marriage!

Successful lifelong marriages don't happen by accident. And a successful marriage not only affects your and your spouse's happiness, but the happiness of your children. The primary cause of poverty in the Western world is single women trying to raise children without the benefit of dad.

You can stay on the sexual merry-go-round if you wish. And maybe you'll avoid getting AIDS or gonorrhea. Maybe you won't get pregnant. But the unseen emotional scars are just as devastating. Too much heartache, too many casual encounters, too many morning-after anxieties, and a person can feel almost emotionally incapable of experiencing a meaningful relationship.

The only safe sex is between a husband and wife committed to each other in a lifelong relationship. In today's society that may sound trite, but remember that you can't solve your problems with the same old solutions or you'll simply arrive at the same old problems.

You can make changes

If you want to experience a lifelong, loving relationship, then you're going to have to do some things differently in your life. Get off the sexual merry-go-round. Discover your Creator's purpose for you. Go to the Bible and learn what marriage is really all about.

If you're struggling with the guilt of abortion, heartache from living a wrong sexual lifestyle or the shame of having an STD, your life can change.

Renewed virginity isn't just a quaint, unrealistic catchphrase. You must accept that your lifestyle has been self-destructive and against the way of life your Creator designed. Ask for His forgiveness, and then you can begin a renewed life—a renewed life as a child of God. You can become a disciple of Jesus Christ. Not just a believer, but a real disciple, a dedicated student who imitates the teachings of the Master.

God designed marriage, and the sexual relationship within marriage, as a gift for you. God didn't intend sex as just a means of procreation. It's meant to be part of the loving, unique relationship between a husband and wife.

Are you ready to commit to what God wants for you and experience real happiness? GN