How important is your attitude? Can it hinder your chances for success? It's very important to understand the impact attitude has at an early age, because attitude can determine how successful you are in life, and it can also influence the impact you can have on others. A daily inspiration, written by Lou Holz, stated the following: "Ability is what you're capable of doing; motivation determines what you do; attitude determines how well you do it" ( http://www.managersforum.com/Quotes/). How well do you want to do your life?

According to 18-year-old Brittany, "Everybody in school has a bad attitude!" Upon reflection, she changed that to, "Most!" Why are so many in a bad attitude? She said it was because they want control; they didn't want their parents or other adults telling them what to do. Of course, parents usually do tell teens and young adults what to do, often because they care for them and want to minimize possible mistakes. Parents want their children to be more successful than they (the parents) are, and make fewer mistakes than they did when they were young.

So, if you feel that your parents are sometimes coming down hard on you, realize that it is probably because they do love you and want the best for you. It helps to believe that others do want to help us even though it may come across as telling us what to do. Good can come from trials!

Noting the importance of attitude, Charles R. Swindoll wrote, "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

"We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes" ( http://www.managersforum.com/Quotes/).

Who owns the problem?

Attitude has always been an important part of our family life. One important aid in helping our teens adjust to various obstacles in life was a technique we learned at a seminar taught by Michael Thomson. In his book Parenthood: Who's Raising Whom? he asked, "Problem, problem, who owns the problem?" (p. 98). Dr. Thomson sums it up in the following guideline:

• Who owns the problem?
• Who owns the responsibility?
• Who made the decisions?
• Who has the power?
• Who has the control?
• Who makes the choices?

The first question is very important to answer. If it's your problem, then continue on to the second question; if not, then forget about it. Many times we take on problems that are not ours. At other times we may try to give our problems to others.

For instance, your homework is late, and you ask your mom to help you at the last minute. Whose problem is this? Is it Mom's? Is it yours? Whose responsibility was it to complete the assignment? Who made the decision to play computer games or spend time with friends instead of completing the assignment? Who has the power to change this scenario in the future? Who has the control to make this change?

Dealing with ridicule

What if someone were to make fun of you at school? Whose problem would this be? It's theirs, not yours. It is your problem only if you allow it to be. It's your choice. If you get upset over it, then you are giving your power to them. Do you really want to give your power up to another person? Of course not. You are in charge of how you react to the situation.

Attitude is a choice. We choose! In Deuteronomy 30:19, God instructs us, "I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live."

Just as it's your choice to choose life, it's your choice to choose the right attitude. It will make your day and, in the long run, a successful life! God wants us to have an abundant, happy life. It's your choice! VT