Feeling Broken, but Moving Forward

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Feeling Broken, but Moving Forward

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The last couple of years, I have been dealt with some new arrivals in my life. Not the kind of arrivals that make one happy. I was diagnosed with painful knee and spinal arthritis. Later, rheumatoid arthritis (RA), an autoimmune disease was added to the list. Recently, I was told I have a torn tendon in my ankle. Finally, I found out I have sleep apnea, which hinders my healing and other major bodily functions. I often say I feel broken. I have learned a lot through this process. I have also come to realize there are similarities to my walk with Christ.

God's people will also have good, bad and horrible days, but we should not let it keep us away from what we know is right.

When I first encountered each of these maladies it was difficult to function. I felt overwhelmed and was unable to cope very well. I was depressed and didn’t know how I would be able to function. Knowing that knowledge is power, I studied on my symptoms and learned what resources were available. God has provided us a wonderful brain to help us through such situations. It gradually begins to adapt to the pain. We still feel it, but the brain becomes accustomed to its unanswered beacons and seems to dull the pain slightly. We also learn how to move, what makes us feel better, and what to avoid doing in order to make it through.

I think about our Christian walk. When God first called me to the truth I was confused. It seemed everything I thought I knew was incorrect. I was uncertain I could cope with all the change. I had to study to gain full understanding, but it was sometimes overwhelming. I had to learn to lean on God and not myself in order to get through. I was learning to rely on the Holy Spirit to relieve my confusion and give me discernment. I was learning what I should do, how to live and what to avoid, so that I would ultimately be better.

Always a way

When I had my first real attack of RA my body quickly stopped working for me. At first, it was some swelling and stiffness in my joints, but within days I couldn’t roll over in bed; I could only creep across the floor. I couldn’t lift my arms—my elbows and wrists wouldn’t bend. I remember one day standing at the top of the stairway and bursting into tears. It might as well have been a descent down Mt. Everest as far as I was concerned. I eventually found a way, however pathetic it looked. After getting anointed and seeing a rheumatologist, I was again able to function in a semi-normal way. It wasn’t perfect, but it was much better.

As Christians, we also run into temptations and trials. At first, we may think there is no way out. It can appear as a mountain standing before us, too big to overcome, but God tells us we always have an escape. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). We have the assurance that even though life may be a bit rough at times, we do have an advocate—Jesus Christ. “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, King James Version).

I understand that unless God completely heals me, I will no longer have physically wonderful days. Some are good, some are bad, and on occasion, some are still horrible. Am I happy about that? No, but I am no longer miserable about it either. Sitting at home giving up on myself solves nothing. I refuse to let this take me out. I will continue to do all I can to keep moving forward. It was a lot to take in at first, and I know I will spend my entire lifetime discovering how I can make my life and body better.

God's people will also have good, bad and horrible days, but we should not let it keep us away from what we know is right. We must go to church, share what we know, and we must keep moving forward along the narrow path God has laid out for us, or be led astray. “But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses” (1 Timothy 6:11-12). We are in training, gleaning all God has for us to learn. This discovery process will surely take the rest of our lives, but we can do it!

Feeling broken doesn’t mean we can’t move forward.

Comments

  • DAVID-JOHN

    Hello Lorelei and all others, a greeting from England. I too suffered a number of health set backs including a minor problem with skin cancer, I didn't wear a hat and I am folicaly challenged (LOL) I had a steap fall that resulted in many operations and a replacement hip which led onto a major heat attack that has left me with only 37% function of the left ventrical of my heart; yet through it all I was led to coming back into the Church of God after leaving WWCG back in 1991. Now I play an active role having just completed a stint at the British Youth camp as an instructor and taking part in two junior hikes. God has plans for all of us and sometimes we need His guidance more than at other times. I am alive because God wants it that way, for the moment, and I know this opportunity is mine to take and grow in the "WAY" of the Lord.

  • Lorelei Nettles

    What a great comeback story David-John, in more ways than one. Thanks for sharing it.

  • KARS

    Hello everyone, as we know pain comes in many forms. Physical brokenness as well as mental brokenness. When one has mental brokenness coupled with pain in the body it can be hard to endure for the constant pain can drive one loopy. So like you said Lorelei, we need God our Father first in our lives to find the right solutions to our problems. To come to ourselves and realize we need to change to begin the healing process. We may find ourselves broken but there is a way out. We take our Father's loving hand and let him lead the way to recovery and peace of mind. Thank you all for your comments and my the peace and comfort our Father above brings, fill your hearts and minds with his love.

  • salzanos

    It is always encouraging to know others are going through similar situations. That we are not alone in our road. I just wanted to say that you are def. not alone. Many people are going through very similar and worse conditions. I too was faced with some serious health problems that came to a head a year ago. God has used this opportunity to teach me much. Spiritual growth is not without pain. Whew! Having to make major life changes is challenging but now I can relate with others like us. I pray more for the sick and thank you for the sincere post of what you are dealing with. God is def. still with us through, not out of our growth toward His purpose! We are more than conquerors ! Keep the faith and know that your not alone!! ;-) Hugs!

  • Lorelei Nettles

    Thank you Brenda,
    I think it is important to support one another as we go through things. Each time we move forward even when times are bad, we are more able to help others when they struggle. I was very pleased for the support I received from others when I was at my worst. Best regards!

  • Esther

    Thank you for this blog! I am not alone!

  • Deanne

    Lorelei,

    Thanks for sharing about your life and the painful parts of it. Whether you realise it or not, you are a shining example to the rest of us in that you keep going despite the really bad days. This scripture comes to mind.........2 Corinthians 12:9-10. Father is making you ready so take great comfort in that. Keep writing and sharing because your readers benefit greatly. I so enjoy reading what others share about themselves so we can know one another a little bit more, even from afar.

  • Lorelei Nettles

    Thanks Deanne,
    A very appropriate scripture indeed, appreciate you sharing it. I am humbled by your words. Thank you.

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