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Unfriending

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In this world of technology and instant gratification, it seems there is no room for differences of opinion. If someone annoys you in any way, you can just “unfriend” or "unfollow" them. The problem with that is there is no room left for real communication and/or reconciliation. Where is the love or concern over solving the problem? It is becoming non-existent.

We need to build up and encourage strong relationships in our lives and teach our children the same thing.

The real problem with this form of thinking is that it is also invading the Christian world. We are told, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11, emphasis added throughout). When we do not deal with offenses we are not showing love to one another. Another Scripture reads, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense, either to the Jews or to the Greeks or to the church of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31-32)

Maybe we are unintentionally the offender, but the offended does not let us know what we have done. Instead, they dump us without explanation. This happens a lot and can really cause some hurt feelings when there is no need for it. Jesus teaches that if we forgive people’s trespasses then God will forgive us (Matthew 6:14). We are human and we do make mistakes. We sometimes say or write things that offend someone. Unintentionally or not, we should be willing to talk it out with each other. Love and forgiveness should come from both sides.

Christians are not immune to these kinds of actions. We must be even more aware so as not to be sucked into what is considered the normal ways of the world. We are to stand apart from the norm. Christ told us to, “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him” (Luke 17:3-4).

Recently, I felt offended in a small way by someone on social media. I did not want to post a retaliatory comment so I sent them a note privately asking why they said what they did to me? Instead of responding to me, the person got offended and blocked me from seeing their posts. I was hurt, this was supposed to be a friend and a fellow Christian. I am not saying that people cannot “unfriend” me, but it was the circumstances that caused pain. James 5:16 says we should confess our sins one to another. That means if I sin against you, I should come to you and tell you so we can work it out. The same applies to offenses. The key is showing love one for another.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) Are we not dishonoring others when we do not give them the opportunity to explain themselves? An offense is too often just being easily angered over something that usually is insignificant or can be easily overcome with a few kind words or a hug.

The important thing is that we do not get caught up in this throwaway world, that tosses relationships away without a thought and then carries the bitterness around like a badge. This is not the plan God has for us. Scripture repeatedly tells us we are to be forgiving, loving and patient. We need to build up and encourage strong relationships in our lives and teach our children the same thing, even if that means sometimes eating our words and asking for forgiveness. Let’s get used to holding on to those we have "friended" and follow instead of blocking, un-following and un-friending people over small offenses.

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Comments

  • KARS

    Hi Eric! I haven't read Mr. Petty. I however judge the content posted to determine if I am going to remove a friend off the friends list. If their content continues on the path of sin, then it is time to say Goodbye. My intent is not to hurt anyone or offend anyone with my friend's offensive post or mine. Therefore I must continually examine what I am going to post or mistakenly posted for lack of good conscience at the time or ignorance (which deserves a apology).

  • J G

    Comment made saying: "..Where is the love or concern over solving the problem? It is becoming non-existent.."
    In this present evil world, controlled by Satan (Eph 2:3; 2 Tim 2:26; James 4:5; I John 3:8), that love is non-existent unless/until God intervenes by providing that love.
    Offenses? In today's world, offenses will occur:
    "For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body." James 3:2
    We all get caught up in offenses to one degree or another.
    Offenses are a form of oppression in body and mind. How did Jesus deal with the offenses/oppression of others?
    "How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him."
    Thank God for His intervention and gift of His Spirit! Why? Some cannot/will not respond in kind at this time. Why not?
    "We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error." I John 4:6
    "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." Phil 2:13

  • emalecki

    I have to agree with you, Lorelei. I, too, am sorry that you had to experience this behavior. Gary Petty once wrote in his book, "We tend to judge ourselves by our intent but we judge others by their behavior." I stopped getting on social media because my heart and intentions was only to let people know what I know in life. This caused me to come under attack or blocked by decades old friends, even Christians. It was becoming so discouraging that I thought it best to avoid social media all together. One of the reasons I am reading Mr. Petty's book so many times over is because it helps to learn how to overcome the relationship issues that even we as Christians can struggle with.

  • kathysanny

    I am sorry this has happened to you Lorelei. It is one thing to unfriend someone-but another to respond as they did when you sought understanding. I hope this is not someone you interact with in person. Realize it is their problem and not yours. As we move closer to the time of the end, I hope people will take time to realize we are all in this together and true Christians will be known by our love for one another.

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