Why We Struggle with Prayer
Part 3 Repentance
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Why We Struggle With Prayer: Part 3 Repentance
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Today I would like to cover another reason we can struggle with prayer. It does not involve our relationship with God, at least not directly. It involves the relationships with have with everyone else. Matthew 6:12 says: And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. The word “AS” links the two concepts of our forgiveness from God and our forgiveness of others. So lets did deeper into this concept of repentance to see all that we may be missing.
Sermon Notes
In the first two sermons, we focused on neglect and trials as reasons that we can struggle with prayer. Neglect is something everyone is guilty of from time to time because we are inherently self-centered and our relationship with God suffers as a result. Trials are another factor in our difficulty having meaningful prayer for various reasons. We may believe the trial is punishment that we must endure like a prison sentence and so we stop talking to God until its over. In more severe cases we can even lose our faith entirely when we miss that trials are not a proof that God exists but rather its proof that God is working with us and wants growth from us. We can forget that God only allows trials that we can handle and we are promised He will never leave us no matter the trouble. God understands us better than we understand ourselves.
Today I would like to cover another reason we can struggle with prayer. It does not involve our relationship with God, at least not directly. It involves the relationships with have with everyone else. About 100 years ago there was a American that had much to say about relationships. He was famous for wit and view of life. He was on radio, film, newspapers and even vaudeville. His name was Will Rogers who was a onetime real life cowboy who also had the distinction of being an actually Cherokee Indian as well. He traveled the country and with humor discussed the issues of the day and was famous for saying that he never met a man he didn’t like. How many people today can honestly say the same thing?
If we are working toward an eternity with all people then this should be a priority for us but we too often end up in conflict with others. If you were to trace the problem you have with someone you could easily make the mistake that the problem you are having with them can be traced to something they said or did or maybe something they didn’t say or do. What if I told you the problem was much deeper than that. We react to what people say and do based on our values. When we see someone outside of our values we are offended and wind up in conflict with them.
When someone is offended by us our first thought is that they must of misunderstood us. This is all too often how conflict happens with others. Everyone experiences this from time to time and reconciliation can only happen when both sides desire it. Until then both suffer as does our prayers. There is an approach to this problem that you can use in your prayers that will improve this condition and even reduce the conflicts you have with others.
The answer to so many conflicts starts in prayer but then extends to our relationships with others. It all begins with repentance. I touched on this subject in part 1 of this series but today I want to look at it in more detail and see how it impacts how we view other people. I know that we repented at conversion and still do so today but just as our understanding of what it means to follow Christ has grown since baptism, so too should our understanding of repentance. If your understanding of repentance remains the same as the day of your baptism, you will see more problems with others and simple problems become huge problems. The title today is:
Why We Struggle With Prayer (Part 3 Repentance)
When you go through baptism, repentance is a major focus. You acknowledge that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That each of us bears responsibility for the death of Christ and in need of forgiveness. Most importantly, we learn that we can never earn Eternal Life, it is a gift given to those called by God and have repented of their sins and accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior and agreed to follow Him toward perfection. So if you have been through this process what more is there? If you have been a member of the body of Christ for decades, you may believe that you fully understand repentance. We touched on this in part one but today I would like to examine the process of repentance a lot more closely.
In part 1 we read through the Model prayer. Lets start today with Matthew 6:12 see where that takes us today. It says simply 12 And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.
In part one we talked about how we often separate these two concepts. When we read verse 12 we read the first words and fixate on them because we recognize, as we did at baptism, that it is our sins that have separated us from God. Not the sins of others, we cannot lay blame for others for our sins. We rightly see this and therefore we spend a great deal of time in our prayers asking for forgiveness. When was the last time you prayed for forgiveness? I would wager recently. I can actually think of very few prayers where I didn’t ask for forgiveness.
But when was the last time you forgave someone in prayer or asked for help forgiving someone? It doesn’t happen often enough. The concept of forgiving others is just as important as our seeking forgiveness for what we have done. Remember the word “AS” links the two concepts of our forgiveness from God and our forgiveness of others. Have you ever heard someone say that they could never forgive someone for something? How scary is that that someone is putting at risk their own redemption because of some debt they have held over someone else. But even if you have never used these words doesn’t mean you may suffer to a lessor degree.
So lets did deeper into this concept of repentance to see all that we may be missing. If I were to ask you, what repentance was to you what comes to mind? Probably it would involve sorrow for the sins that you recognized has separated you from God and caused the death of His son. That’s a good place to start but then what? Is the sorrow enough to cause you to turn from your former life? We all wish for that to be true but a complete turn to God takes overcoming. When we are baptized we turn to the degree we understand but the baggage we take with us into this new life is often invisible to us at the time. We must learn to overcome and release this baggage so our surrender to God can be an unconditional surrender.
In the early days of WW2 there was an effort by both Germany and Japan when they realized they could not win to a negotiated peace. When Japan attacked the US fleet at Pearl Harbor they hoped that it would cause the US to seek a negotiated peace that would allow Japan to hold on to their empire in exchange for peace. Hitler tried something similar with Britain during the battle of Britain. The allies were so suspicious that one may sign such an agreement like the one the Soviets did with Germany before its invasion of Poland, that they came together to agree that nothing short of unconditional surrender would stop the war.
When we come to repentance, the terms that God offers is unconditional surrender. We cannot hold on to possessions, titles of nobility, wealth, or even our lives. We take nothing with us into our new life. We accept that at baptism but it takes time to realize what unconditional surrender really means as we go on from there. Each of us takes with us all kinds of baggage into baptism. We have quirks, character flaws and even bad attitudes that at the time we agree to surrender and become a member of the God’s family.
God is not calling us to come as we are. He wants us to grow and mature to become proper citizens of the Kingdom of God. And that means dealing with the baggage we brought with us when called. Lets confirm that with some scripture> I am going to read from the NLT because hearing in a different translation sometimes allows us to hear from fresh ears.
NLT James 1:19-21 19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. 21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.
So what does this passage tell us about changing ourselves and salvation? It says we have a lot of work to do and we need humility to do it. Nowhere in scripture does it tell us that God allows us to take our baggage with us. Lets take a look at:
NLT Romans 12:1-3 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice-- the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. 3 Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.
So what is God’s perfect will for us? That our repentance would turn us away from this world and with a humble heart build a better relationship with him as we build better relationships with others. God doesn’t just want us to be one with Him, He wants us to be One with one another. To be One body of Christ. That means our repentance has to reflect our forgiveness of others. Not just those who we agree with, or those who want to have a relationship with us. All people.
NKJ Romans 12:18-19 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord.
But we often try to get even with those who hurt us or at least try to straiten them out. But what does the bible say about reconciling with your brother? The most famous passage about dealing with conflicts and offenses is in Matthew chapter 18. You may already think you know what it says, but lets read through together and see what we can learn.
Turn over to Matthew 18. Now you might be tempted to start in verse 15 about when a brother sins against you. If you did that, you would miss the entire context of the lesson that Jesus was teaching starting in verse 1. The entire chapter was one lesson and you will see that each passage is linked to the previous passage.
The Chapter begins with a rebuke by Jesus because the disciples were discussing which of them were greatest. Mark mentions that the disciples were arguing as they traveled and when challenged fell silent. Luke mentions that Jesus discerned their thoughts and then uses this moment to put the little child in their midst and teach about humility and being teachable. He then describes the proper Christian was one like this child and was humble and teachable. Then in verse 4, He refers to new members of the church as little ones.
NKJ Matthew 18:5-7 4 "Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 "Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me. 6 "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. 7 "Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!
God is referring to the new and weak of faith members that we will come across in this life. Think of the decades of patience God has shown to you and consider the patience you have with people who make lots of mistakes. If you see someone’s child miss behaving do you get offended and go try to straighten them out? I would hope not. Maturity has taught us to exercise patience so their parents can straighten them out. They are little ones and seeing some adult come over speaking harshly to them could be very bad. A parent would not take kindly to that and neither does God. Lets read further to see more of how God deals with little ones.
8 "If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire. 9 "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire. (Matt. 18:8-9 NKJ)
So who is God concerned that we might offend, telling us to cut off parts of our bodies to keep from offending others? Verse 10-11 tells us plainly.
10 "Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven. 11 "For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost. (Matt. 18:10-11 NKJ)
No not only is Jesus telling us not to offend the little ones, He tells us those little ones have angles looking after them who report directly to our Father in Heaven so we better heed the warning about not causing offense.
12 "What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? 13 "And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you,
he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. 14 "Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish. (Matt. 18:12-14 NKJ)
So God looks after the lost sheep that He knows are often little ones that have gone astray. His desire is all about reconciliation and restoration. We often look at problems with other people about who did who wrong. They say or do something that offends us and then we react, usually poorly. But what if this was your child and they miss behaves. Are you offended? No, you correct out of love because you want the child to grow and learn to become mature. You have patience as they grow.
When people sin against one another they often do so out of emotional or spiritual immaturity. You might say, they been in the church for decades so this is unacceptable. We need to be careful with that talk because God says He will uses those words against those who speak them and not forgive them. How we judge and condemn others is how God will judge and condemn us. And if we are at a higher maturity than someone else, then we have a greater responsibility to take the high road and not over react.
Notice as we go into the area of dealing with conflict the first word of verse 15 is Moreover. In other works, to take the previous examples to the next level and it ups the ante. It links the previous lessons, of humility, not causing offense, and restoration of the lost to this lesson.
15 "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
In regards to someone who sins against you here the process to restore them to your life. When someone sins against you they damage your relationship with them and the point is about restoring that. The less you are offended by their actions the easier that is. If you see them as a little one then your desire is to help them to understand their actions and how they affect other people. Notice what’s not here. Its not talking about people who do things you don’t agree with.
Its not about being offended by what someone says or does that is not directly against you. This section does not give someone license to straighten out people they don’t agree with. People disagree all the time but the purpose here is to gain your brother. The focus is not correction but restoration. You may have to deal with the sin but the purpose is about restoring relationships. The context of the chapter 18 should make that perfectly clear. The next verse is about helping them hear the matter in love. Only take someone that you think they will respect and hear. Its not about two or three against one, but getting someone to hear the truth.
Notice verse 17.
17 "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. 18 "Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19 "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. 20 "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them." (Matt. 18:17-20 NKJ)
This is talking about putting someone out of the church and Jesus just said how He feels about lost sheep. If they can be restored, He wants that. The key is always repentance. What’s the process of repentance? Realizing that your sins have separated you from God and from your brethren. To repent is to unconditionally surrender to God and give up any grievances you have with others, forgive them so that God will forgive you and then He will restore you to the body.
Verses 15-20 tells us how to do our part but the context tells us that a mature adult does not get easily offended when someone of the faith does things offensive. This business of forgiving others as a part of repentance is not just a suggestion. Notice verse 21 is linked with the word “Then”
21 Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" 22 Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
Notice anything missing? People often focus on the large number of forgiveness but Peter never mentions that his brother asked for forgiveness. We often read over that and miss it. Do we require people to ask or better yet, beg for forgiveness before we even consider it?
In verse 23 we see the word Therefore followed by a parable about forgiveness showing that better answers Peter’s question.
You all know the parable. A person owes a debt of 10,000 talents. He pleads with the king for more time. Instead of more time, the king forgives the debt. The servant turns right around and tries to make a fellow servant pay him back a debt of a few pittance. When the same mercy is asked for he gives none and throws him into prison until he can pay. The king is so upset he restored the original debt because the man would not have compassion after being showed compassion. The lesson is clear but often deeper than most people look. Yes this is a comparison between the debt we are freed from when our sins are forgiven and that we should therefore forgive others. But if you look deeper you see that to God, the debt we have been forgiven is magnitudes larger than the debts we hold over others. When God forgave us at baptism we no longer have a right to the debt we hold over anyone’s head. But what if we were hurt really badly? What if were harmed emotionally and we live with that harm the rest of our lives? What if someone hurt someone we loved dearly? This is telling us we have no right to hold onto that debt.
I am not saying that someone who is dangerous should be allowed back into your life but you have to release your pain and suffering to God, your grievance to God. You trade that for what you have been given. The last verses tells us how God thinks about us holding onto our grievances.
Matt. 18:34-35 34 "And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
35 "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."
This rounds out the chapter. Each of these sections are part of the same set of lessons about humility, not offending others, and especially the little ones, and ending with forgiveness.
It’s a perfect lesson on proper repentance. We stop the course we were on in life, recognize the damage our sins have caused, accept the sacrifice of Jesus Christ which washes away our sins as we wash away the sins others have caused us. We continue in this new life working not to offend anyone paying special attention to the little one of the faith as we ourselves try to emulate the innocence and humility of such a life. When offenses come, as it says it must, we work to not be a part of the problem but part of the solution to restore what’s been lost and continue to repent when we see that we offend anyone.
With that better approach to our relationship with the body of Christ as spelled out by scripture, think about how much easier our relationships will be including the most important one of all, God. It will make our prayer life richer and so much more productive when we are not in strife all the time. When our focus is off of our problems and on to God’s will for our lives, we will be happier and so will everyone else in the body.
Its not easy to do. It takes lots of practice. You may even need to ask God to reveal some things to you so you can see areas you need to grow. But it’s worth the effort to learn this very valuable lesson and improve your prayer life as well.